What Is BDSM

With over 60 million copies sold, the book series Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James has been one of the most successful books in history, and generated a huge amount of interest in BDSM. While we in the BDSM community owe a lot to the book for raising awareness to our lifestyle and getting many people into it, many of us feel a great deal of resentment towards the book as well. With the 2nd movie having been released this weekend (and making around $150 million dollars), this is a good time to see where Erika James went wrong. The reason for the resentment is due to the fact that the book portraits BDSM in a way that is very far from how it really is. For example, a recurring theme in the book is the prospect of Christian Grey trying to get Ana to enter a legal contract with him for a dom/sub relationship, and pushing her into being a submissive against her will. While not being strictly forceful, Christian Grey is, in fact, a sexual predator, and uses unethical practices to try to f...

The term “Sex-Positive” comes up a lot in the BDSM world, and even more specifically in the Seattle community, as our main club is specifically named “The Center for Sex-Positive Culture” (CSPC). This begs the question what IS sex-positive, and what’s the big deal? Sex-positive is a concept which is the basis for a social movement by the same name. It goes back almost a century ago to the Austrian psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich, who wrote about it first in his book The Invasion of Compulsory Sex-Morality (Part of which you can read here and the full thing can be ordered here). The concept of sex-positive suggests that sex should be considered by all to be a good, healthy and normal thing. This position is in contrast to the common state of mind in modern western society (*), which views sex as shameful and sinful.   One might argue that this isn’t the case, citing how common sex and nudity is in our culture, even in mainstream broadcast television, but even though we have made ...

Like any other thing in life, the kink community has a large vocabulary of terms, and knowing them is important not only to appear cool and knowledgeable, but also to avoid finding yourself in a risky position, or doing something you didn’t intend to do. The knowledge can also help you avoid offending someone by mistake. Age Play – an uncommon kink where arousal is derived from acting out a different age (usually younger) than one is actually at. The “top” participant carries out typical parenting tasks with the “bottom” age player, such as putting diapers on the bottom, or feeding him/her. Blood play – an uncommon kink where arousal is derived from activity that leads to bleeding, such as needle insertion or breaking the skin with knives and other sharp objects. Blood Play is considered one of the more extreme kinks and many places do not allow it, or severely restricts it. Bottom – the partner in a role-play who is on the receiving or submissive side of the scene. For example, in a...